White Lines Read online

  7

  ROCK OF AGES

  By now Jada and Shante were straight-up fiends. Whenever her mother was home and she couldn’t do her drugs in her apartment, Shante would come to Mr. Charlie’s apartment and smoke with Jada. He would let them do their thing, and he would go on about his business. Jada started smoking more than ever. She stopped going to school, and dropped out in her senior year.

  After Jada moved in with him, Mr. Charlie kept her as high as she wanted. He made sure she had three square meals a day, a roof over her head, and anything else she asked him for. He used her physically, and she let him. Their arrangement was mutually beneficial. Jada wasn’t disillusioned enough to believe that she was Charlie’s one and only. His “wife”—Kelly—still came by every now and then. Charlie explained to Jada that Kelly was really no more than a lady who’d been down for him over the years, and she still made money for him. Whenever she was there, Jada would go and stay at Shame’s house until the woman had left, and Mr. Charlie was alone again.

  Shante was amazed by this. “You’re telling me that you fuck him, you live there, he gives you dough. But when his wifey comes over, you just leave, and she don’t say nothing to you? Y’all don’t fight? What kinda shit is that? You’re both sharing the same man.”

  Jada shrugged. “I’m not in love with Mr. Charlie. I don’t need to have a confrontation with his wife. We never had any drama.” Jada didn’t know how Mr. Charlie explained their relationship or the fact that she was living with him to his wifey, and she really didn’t care. Shante shook her head in disbelief. Jada tried to explain once again. “For me … I’m grateful to Charlie for what he’s done to help me. But he’s only a means to an end. He looks out for me. I may care about him. But I know he’s not my man.”

  Charlie was getting serviced sexually, and Jada was having her habit sustained. Jada had all of Mr. Charlie’s money at her disposal and no mother to hide from anymore. She was high all the time. Within three months, Mr. Charlie had her selling her body.

  There was a side to Charlie that Jada had not yet seen. He began to show his true colors in September of 1993. Slowly Charlie began to stop giving Jada money. It started with an occasional no, when all Jada had been accustomed to hearing from Charlie was yes. This caught her by surprise, but Charlie still gave her some money, so she didn’t complain. He was still giving her crack, although he wasn’t giving it to her as freely. Charlie started demanding more from Jada in order for her to get high.

  She woke up one afternoon from an eleven-hour “nap” and took a long shower. She got out, dried off, and threw on some shorts and a T-shirt. She was hungry, so she headed for the kitchen to fix a sandwich. As she passed the living room, she saw that Charlie’s friend Gordon had stopped by. She greeted him and proceeded toward the kitchen. She listened to the men laughing and talking in the next room while she fixed her sandwich. She sat down and ate it, and drank close to the whole half gallon of juice in the refrigerator. She was wondering how to get Charlie’s attention, so that she could get high without being rude and interrupting his conversation. But as if he’d read her mind, Charlie joined her in the kitchen and greeted her smiling.

  “Hey, sleeping beauty. Good to see you up and at ‘em.”

  Jada smiled. “Can I get something to smoke while you talk to your friend?” she asked.

  Charlie tilted his head to the side. “Well, I was hoping you would come and talk to my friend, too,” he said. He smiled again, though this time it seemed a little wicked. “I told Gordon about that thing I taught you last night, and he wants to see it.”

  Jada stood, dumbfounded. Surely he wasn’t asking her to give him head in front of his friend. “I can’t do that in front of him. I don’t feel comfortable—”

  “I thought you wanted to get high.” Charlie lit a cigarette and blew the smoke in her direction. The cloud loomed in front of her, and she trembled nervously. She did want to get high. She looked at Charlie, hoping he would tell her that he was only kidding. But instead he walked back into the living room, leaving her with the option of following him and getting high, or sitting in the kitchen and fiending. She stood there and debated within herself for several minutes, before reluctantly following him into the living room.

  She looked at Gordon. He was a nice-looking older man—older than Mr. Charlie. He lived in the neighborhood with his churchgoing wife. He smiled at her, and she looked away. She looked again at Charlie, hoping he would spare her this indignity. But he unzipped his pants, unbuckled his belt, and spread his legs, allowing her easy access.

  Jada slowly walked toward him and kneeled before him. She took his dick in her hands, blocking out the third person in the room and pretending she was alone with Mr. Charlie, like usual. She wrapped her hand tightly around the base of his dick and sucked the head. Her hand matched the rhythm of her mouth, and Charlie was in ecstasy. He moaned and fondled her; Gordon watched closely. Finally, he came, and Jada waited anxiously for her reward.

  Charlie sat collecting his breath, and Jada stood to her feet and waited. Gordon sat back with an aroused expression on his face. To Jada’s surprise, he unzipped his pants and stroked his dick as he stared at her. Jada looked at Charlie confused, and he nodded in his friend’s direction. “Now, be nice, baby girl. Show Gordon some love, too.”

  Jada stood frozen in disbelief. “Charlie, please,” she protested, her eyes pleading with Charlie not to make her suck his friend’s dick. That was too much for her, and she didn’t want to do it. “I don’t wanna do that.”

  Charlie looked at her silently for several moments. “I’m asking you to do something for a friend, and you tell me no? I don’t think you like it when I tell you no.”

  Jada fought back tears, and looked at Charlie with new eyes. She wanted to be high badly, so she did it. She got on her knees in front of Gordon and tried not to notice his unfamiliar scent. She wanted to cry the entire time, and she felt sick. But she held it together, knowing that Charlie didn’t like tears. If she cried, she ran the risk of not getting what she wanted. No matter how hard he fucked her or how nasty he treated her, she wasn’t allowed to cry. So as she sucked Gordon’s dick she was determined not to cry. Jada stepped outside of herself and separated her mind from what she was doing. She imagined herself someplace far away, and only her body was involved in the act she was engaged in. She wandered off in her mind until Gordon burst on her favorite shirt. When she was done, she desperately grabbed the crack from Charlie’s hands and ran to the bedroom to get high. She felt dirty all over again, until the crack took her to a place where nothing even mattered.

  Another time, Charlie demanded that she have anal sex with him in exchange for some crack. That time she did cry, the entire time. And Charlie didn’t even seem to care. He kept pounding away at her, ramming her with no mercy. “You like that?” he panted as she bit the sheets, her body tense. “You know you like it.”

  It seemed to take him forever to cum that night. When he finally did, he passed out, and Jada spent the rest of the night getting high. She was beginning to see that living with Mr. Charlie came with a bigger price than she could afford.

  One day Jada was jonesing and she knew Charlie had money. But for some reason, he wasn’t so willing to part with it anymore. She had her period, and therefore had little to offer Mr. Charlie. She didn’t feel like being passed around like a toy among Charlie and his friends this time. She had five dollars she found in the pocket of one of Charlie’s jackets. All she needed was four or five more dollars to get high at least one good time.

  Jada was in the corner store, and she was itching for a scratch. “Come on, papi. I just bought this shit from you yesterday. I don’t need it, so just let me get my money back.” Jada pushed the container toward the man behind the register. She was trying to return some laundry detergent she had bought the day before.

  “I don’t even know that you bought that here,” the Hispanic store clerk argued. “You could have bought that anywhere. Now you want me to giv
e you money back for it. Where’s your receipt?”

  “I don’t have the fuckin’ receipt. But I’m in here every day, and you know I bought this here. It’s four fuckin’ dollars. Just let me get it so I can get out of your store.” Jada was desperate. She stood there and argued with the clerk, until he finally gave her the money back. She could tell as the man muttered in Spanish while he reached in the register that he was giving her the money just to get her out of the store. She almost snatched the four one-dollar bills out of his hand, she was so anxious to get them. Then, as she turned to leave, Jada saw her mother standing near the front of the store, as if she had just walked in.

  Jada stopped dead in her tracks, and wondered how much Edna had seen and heard. Edna looked in Jada’s eyes. And for a moment, Jada swore that her mother knew everything. The look on her mother’s face made Jada feel like a child caught with her hand in the cookie jar. It was almost like Edna could see right through her, and could tell that her daughter was jonesing. She could see that Jada was out there. Edna looked at her daughter’s disheveled clothing, her sloppy ponytail, and her thin frame. She wanted to cry. But despite the obvious angst written all over her face, all Edna did was move aside and walk toward the back of the store. As she walked past her, Jada thought for a moment that her mother was going to stop and say something. But she didn’t say a word. Edna simply walked past her, and Jada walked slowly out of the store. After Jada left the store, she cried all the way back to Charlie’s building. She was so hurt that her mother hadn’t said anything to her. Not a word. In a way, Jada had wanted her mother to reach out to her somehow. To hug her and say that she would help her get clean. But as usual, Edna was unwilling to help her daughter. And now Jada really felt alone in the world.

  Two days later, Jada was pacing in the apartment, wondering how long it would be before Charlie came back. He hadn’t come home the night before, and Jada hadn’t been high in far too long. Shante had gotten arrested for stealing, which left Jada with no partner in crime. Her friend’s arrest made Jada hesitant to do it herself. More than anything, Jada feared going to jail. And that fear was only bolstered by Shante’s predicament. To make matters worse, Lucas was nowhere to be found. She searched frantically through the pockets of Charlie’s clothes and in the cushions of the sofa, to no avail. When he was leaving the previous day, Charlie had told Jada that he couldn’t give her any money. He said that he had bills to pay, that his wife needed money for his kids. Jada had never even known he had kids, but all of a sudden his kids needed money. She wasn’t concerned about all that, though. All she wanted was to get high. She was alone in the house with no means of getting her fix.

  Charlie finally came home at nearly two o’clock that afternoon. Jada was thirsting for a hit.

  “Damn!” she said, beads of sweat forming on her forehead. “I was dying for you to get back, Charlie. Can I get something? I need it.”

  That’s when Charlie saw his opportunity.

  “I think I might be able to help you,” he said. He stroked her ass as he said it. He looked at her, still pretty, even after all the abuse she’d put her body through. He sighed. “I like having you to myself, Jada. You’re my favorite girl. But you got a habit I can’t afford to keep supporting.”

  Jada looked like she was surprised by his words, but she knew in her heart that he was right. Her habit had ballooned out of proportion. “So how can you help me?” she asked. She prayed that he wouldn’t suggest rehab, like Rico had. That’s not the kind of help she wanted. All she wanted was some help to stay high.

  “Kelly, my wife, she can set you up on ‘dates’ with men. They can help you make money to feed your habit.”

  Jada let his words sink in. She thought about being a call girl or some kind of prostitute. She thought about Shante’s advice about the “power of the pussy.” She wondered how much she could make. “I don’t know. I don’t know if I can do that every night. I don’t want to be fuckin’ with dirty men—with strangers. They could be psychos.”

  Charlie nodded. “I understand that, and I’ll keep it real with you. You’re a star, baby girl. Even though right now you got a real jones for that crack, you’re still pretty. You look good naturally. You’re a freak in bed. You’re a high-class bitch. Don’t ever let a nigga tell you that you ain’t worth nothing. I almost wanna keep you for myself and let you shine. But you’re worth more than what I can give you. I can’t afford you. You need to work what you got, and Kelly can help you do that.” Charlie was being truthful. It pained him to turn the sexy young lady out. Jada had given him some of the best sex he’d ever had. But it was time for him to make back the money he’d invested in her.

  Jada thought about it. Charlie could see the look of anguish on her face as she considered his words.

  “Let me call Kelly over to talk to you. I’ll let her tell you like it is. And then you can see what you wanna do.”

  Jada nodded, and off he went to retrieve the phone. She sat, and took another hit, while Charlie arranged for his lady to come and add another worker to their stable. Kelly was there within the hour.

  “This is Jada.” Charlie finally introduced the two women. Kelly looked Jada up and down, thinking that Charlie sure had chosen a pretty one this time. Jada seemed nervous in the presence of Charlie’s main chick. Kelly was taller than Jada, and her face seemed unaccustomed to smiling. She was dark skinned and heavyset, and she didn’t waste a lot of time before she cut to the chase.

  “I hear you need to make some money,” she said.

  Jada nodded, and shifted nervously. “I do need to make money. But I’m not sure about doing what Charlie suggested. I don’t know if I can sell my body to strange men.”

  Kelly nodded. In her mind she was relieved that Charlie was finally willing to set Jada out on the track. He always broke the young ones in before he cut them loose. Usually Kelly managed to keep her jealousy under wraps. But with Jada, for the first time she felt threatened. Jada was prettier than most of the girls Charlie normally attracted. And Charlie had kept her around as his own companion for far longer than he usually kept the girls. Kelly had begun to wonder if he was feeling for Jada, and she was relieved when he called and told her that he was ready to put her to work. Kelly tried to keep her voice sincere as she began. “I met Charlie when I was nineteen and broke. My stepfather was fucking me and my sister, and I wasn’t going back to that. When Charlie found me I was homeless, sleeping in the project stairwells, because I had no place else to go. I was out running them streets, and I was living dangerously. Charlie helped me out, and I’ll never forget that.”

  Jada nodded, feeling that she had her own reasons to be grateful to Mr. Charlie. Kelly continued.

  “I remember what it was like for me starting out on my own and not having nobody to lean on. Nobody cared if I ate, or where I slept, or how I survived. All I had was me, and I was scared to death. Thank God I found somebody to help me.” Kelly paused and looked at Jada. “You have somebody who’s willing to help you, too. Charlie has a big heart. He doesn’t judge people. And he sees something special in you. We wanna try to help set you up on dates with good men. Men with cash and class and none of that other bullshit. You’re gonna be safe, and you’ll make a lot of money. And it’ll be your money. You won’t have to ask nobody else for shit. You’ll have your own.” Kelly promised Jada that she wouldn’t send her any dirty, disgusting men. “You have a very pretty face, and your body is close to perfect. I’ll have no problems getting the good dates for you.”

  Jada relaxed and felt better about the prospect of working for Kelly. Kelly seemed so nice. Almost like a mother figure. Jada liked her, because she was being so comforting, and she seemed as if she genuinely wanted to help her. But mostly Jada liked her because Kelly had devised a plan to keep her high. And her plan was beginning to sound like it wasn’t such a bad one after all.

  8

  ROCK BOTTOM

  It wasn’t long before Kelly got Jada started. She took her first “date” in
the fall of 1993, when she was only nineteen years old. Kelly brought Jada to a spot out in Harlem. It was something like a boardinghouse, with three separate rooms and one common bathroom. Jada was understandably nervous, and even had second thoughts about the whole thing. What if the men smelled bad or looked disgusting? What if they wanted her to do something that she didn’t want to do? Kelly calmed her fears, telling Jada that she would only send her the cleanest and most decent-looking men. Jada was still not fully persuaded, until Kelly held out her hand, and in it sat two crack vials. Jada reached for them eagerly, but Kelly closed her hand in time to stop Jada from taking them.

  “You get one now, and one after the night is over. The first one will relax you enough for you to do what you need to do. The second one I’ll hold for you until it’s all over. That way you can get high after you’re finished, and you won’t have to think about it when all is said and done.” Kelly gave her a half smile.

  Jada nodded, thinking that this was a perfect plan. She took the one vial that Kelly extended to her. She made Jada go down to the basement to smoke it. The stairs that led to the basement were covered in cobwebs. She could smell the scent of cheap perfume mixed with cigarette smoke. It was obvious that downstairs was the part of the house where the women went to unwind. Jada noticed a black girl nodding in the corner.

  She wondered if it was fatigue or heroin that made her nod like that. She descended the last step and looked around. The furniture was old and worn, the windows dingy, but to Jada, none of that mattered. She was here to get high, get paid, and go home.